The Rainy Evening

The evening descended upon this city. It brought rain and cool breeze along with it. The darkness has enveloped my house and in haste I woke up. The room was completely dark, my fan was humming slowly, making a squeaky sound at perfect intervals. I lay on my bed aimlessly. Feeling a pinch of loneliness, I got a hold of my phone on my side table to realise there were tons of messages from my mother, but none from her. Remains of the dying light peaked though the curtains, very dim indeed. The room felt cooler than usual. There was a strange unholy pleasure in this darkness and loneliness. I hurried my face in the pillow, seeking her aroma, but all I got was just smell of new pillows. I hugged my other pillow tight, trying to replicate her warmth and feeling but to no avail, the pillow didn't do any justice. Still I lied there contemplating the series of events that were hence yet to happen. The cool air from the fan, the rain drops splashing against my window, the dying sunlight. Far off Voices of children in the garden, excited about rain. I wished I could add her to these feelings. She was the one missing, everything was perfect, but her absence resonated in my heart. 

After dragging myself out of bed I took a warm bath, thinking it would help me with my laziness. I was partially wrong. I prepared coffee for myself with some honey. The aroma of the roasted coffee beans completely did justice to the smell of the rain. Yes, the soft smell of rain. The hot city was drenched in tears from the sky. The constant hum of the rain and its smell along with the aroma of my coffee made me feel what a beautiful life it was, and wished I could share it with someone. 

Lord Shiva had his third eye slightly open. There was lightening, there was thunder and there was rain. I didn't bother to turn the lights on at all. In complete darkness I sat, only the evening lights presented themselves. 

Life needs to be like a lotus flower. Regardless of the menace and chaos lies around the flower, it still remains pure and beautiful from the inside. I wanted to be like that however I have come to accept that my weak heart isn't capable of it, regardless how cold-hearted I wanted to act. 

The rain poured the balcony swiftly, and I enjoyed my coffee and cigarette in this beautiful weather. The mighty rain had decided no quarter today and had in a strange manner blessed me with its cruel yet beautiful gift. 

I stood there with the beautiful scenery in front of me, admiring the Nature. However she crossed my mind, I controlled myself to brush her thought away, I decided I didn't want to fall; but in reality I already had. 

As soon as I noticed that it was time to go office, I pulled my usual facade, which merely presented that I didn't care. After all i knew I was good at hiding feelings, therefore I did what needed to be done, hoping the rain would wash away my tear and give a rest to the scars on my heart. 

Girl with the Red Hair

When I held your soft hands, I felt the loyalty in your blood flowing through your body, I felt that the innocence that you hid under your facade. When you were sleepy and you red hair covered your face, and your pretty face which only showed your face partially. Your lips were peaking from behind your red hair splattered across the sofa.

Your beauty spot would be visible now and then because of your shirt, your smokey eyes were seductive and you managed to steal my heart and own it.

As you lifted your face, and I saw your eyes, filled with peace and happiness, but with a mixture of sleep, I felt Eros piercing his poison to my heart. You asked me what to do, and I simply asked you to go to sleep. I did not want the beautiful moment to end

For a few minutes you held my hand and went into a deep sleep, your chest was heaving up and down, and I had to sit in an uncomfortable position to not to disturb you, my face was too close to your hair, and I could smell them. I wanted to release my hand, but you held my a little tight - as if you did not want to let go of it.

As I was holding your hand, I could feel the pulse in your hand synchronizing with your heart

After a while when you woke up, your mascara was spoiled, the look was breathtaking - I would have asked you to clean it, but I didn't. I felt selfish for that, as you looked immensely beautiful.

In your sleepy state you were continuously trying to tie your hair, which made me think of the sweet nectar that is flowing inside your body - your dilated eyes moving here and there just - which you were trying hard to keep them open. It was dark outside and the lights and the sun had closed its tired eyes - the darkness and fallen and I had a sudden urge to hold you in my arms and put you to deep sleep until the sun opened its eyes and the dawn sprinkled the golden dust of sun rays over the sky -

But you had to go, and I had to suppress my feelings like I always - I was good at this - and was proud of the fact that I was good at hiding feelings. But, looking at you, I wanted to fail at hiding feelings....